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Anonymous said: There are people to support you, even if they don't know you well. But like they said your health is more important than anything else. Please take your time and you know I will respect your decisions if you decide to never reupload your fanfics. I have depression too and its just a thing with people about how if it can't be seen it's not "real" and can't be used as a reason. So please don't feel discouraged or anything.

Thank you so much sweetie for your words and support! I’m sorry to hear that you have depression as well, it’s something I wouldn’t wish on anyone because no one deserves to feel that. I’m glad you understand though and this might be weird to say but if you ever need someone to talk to as well, you can message me >< 

Tags: Anonymous
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Anonymous said: I was a it sad when I saw you pulled down your stories, but they're /your/ stories and you can do whatever you want with them. People shouldn't feel entitled to tell you what you can or cannot do. Anyway I hope you'll feel better :)

Thank you so much for understanding sweetie! I understand why people would be angry but at the same time I know I did the right thing for myself and I’m glad you understand that >.< 

Tags: Anonymous
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Anonymous said: I'm a fan and I've read your posts. I also checked your ffn for confirmation and was really saddened when I saw that you really deleted your fics, especially the AkaKuro ones. Anyhow, I hope you'll be fine soon. I'm a fan and always will be. :) Remember, no one has the right to condemn you on how you cope up for no one actually knows how much you're hurting.

Thank you so much sweetie >.< I really am sorry for making you sad, and I do feel guilty for it but thank you for understanding still >.< 

Tags: Anonymous
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Alright, this will be me ranting, so my apologies to those who don’t wish to see this. But honestly, I can’t bottle this up, this is something I need to say. 

I don’t appreciate my reasonings being belittled especially with how bad it is. I don’t really say it, or even show it, but I am actually going through a lot and my depression is actually a lot more severe than I like to let on. Hell, sometimes I post how bad it is only to take it down because I’m scared of letting people know how bad it is. 

So please don’t ever belittle it. Don’t blow it off and say it’s a crappy reason because you have absolutely no idea just how bad it is and I will never let you know how bad it is. 

I understand people are angry that I pulled the stories, I even agree that people have that reason. However, do not belittle my own reasons please because the initial reason for pulling it down was depression and anxiety. THAT is the reason I pulled it down and is entirely different from why I’m not reposting my stories. 

The reason for me not reposting it is up for debate, go ahead and yell at me for my reason for not reposting it, but do not belittle why I had pulled it down. 

I have my own shit that I am dealing with, I have my own serious problems, and until you actually know what those are, don’t presume to know me. Don’t presume to know how little or big my problems are. You don’t know me, don’t talk down to me like you do.

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roselilia:

I should have written this a long time ago, and I’m sorry I haven’t because I do owe a bit of an explanation. Yes, I did delete all of my fanfiction but it was during a really dark period when I was going through something that I couldn’t cope with at the time. 

I suffer from severe depression as well as severe anxiety, and one night everything crashed down and after something really negative happened while I was having something of a melt down that had to do with Akakuro, I got fed up with everything and just took it all down. 

However, I will not be uploading them again, at least my AkaKuro ones. It isn’t because it is no longer my OTP, but it is actually a build up of various reasons and a small part of it is because of quite a few AkaKuro shippers I have seen and just heard really negative things from. 

I do know I shouldn’t judge an entire ship as a whole from a few people, but my writing is finicky, it depends on my mood and my current feelings. Every time I try to write for that ship, I remember things that have been said and done and it leaves me unable to continue to write but also leaves me not wishing to contribute to the ship as well.

There are other reasons as well but they are more complicated to explain and I don’t think anybody would understand just because I don’t think I can explain it well. 

I’m not sure if this is permanent though, or if this is a phase that will pass. Who knows, maybe I will get through this and the mess I’m going through now and find my love for the ship again, but for the moment, I will not be writing for AkaKuro nor will I be reposting it. 

Even now I don’t feel like I conveyed my reasons well, nor have I explained my feelings well. I am truly sorry for this half assed explanation, if you’re angry you have all rights to send me angry messages. I promise to read them and accept them, for I do deserve everything you guys have to say. 

Tags: Queue
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It’s 2am, I’m going to sleep and I’ll answer every message I get tomorrow so please don’t think I’m ignoring you if you send anything 

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decomposingwhale replied to your post “I should have written this a long time ago, and I’m sorry I haven’t…”

Take care! I hope you’ll feel better soon!

Thank you so much and I’ll try >.<

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nii-hime replied to your post “I should have written this a long time ago, and I’m sorry I haven’t…”

I do hope that you that you’ll get better and continue to write because frankly speaking id read anything that you write. It’s a shame that a few people and other things ruined the ship for you. If you don’t mind me asking what did those people do?

I will try to continue writing because it honestly does help in its own way but it is a shame because I was an avid AkaKuro fan. Unfortunately, I would prefer not to say, just because I don’t think I can convey it properly without it sounding completely petty of me so please forgive me for that >.<

Tags: nii-hime
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latteloverlazyguy said: Hello! I really liked your fanfics so i am sad that you deleted them, BUT i understand that depression and anxiety are really serious illness. So I just wanted to say, that you should make yourself the top priority right now and only write things that make you happy and feel better :) I hope you will have better and brighter days from now on! Take care. *hugs*

Thank you so much for understanding and I think that’s what i will be doing >.< I will try to feel better and just stay away from negative things >.< Thank you again *hugs tight*

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Anonymous said: If you like bunnies and ice cream there's no way you can be despicable so shut up and let us love u till the end of the world *puts flower crown on her head* perfect B)

Thank you so much and I’m sorry that I didn’t answer until now *hugs tightly* We should all just focus on Bunnies and ice cream v.v 

Tags: Anonymous